The thread around my heart

Africa, you are still on my mind and in my heart. Somehow, you got under my skin and found a place to stay. I can’t explain what it is that makes my heart yearn so. Perhaps, it is your wide open spaces, alive with hope and purpose. Maybe, it is the distant drumming I hear from my heart, my heart beating and fully alive with expectancy. It seems that one trip was not enough. Was that only the taste of what is to come?

I feel the stirrings again, the soul itching for more. With every opened email via African missions; Compassion, Mission Travel and Hope Global, a quickening rises up, an excitement begins to bubble within. As I stretch out my existence and count the days of the life I have been given, I feel a growing sense of another time and space pulling upon me. Perhaps it is in all the years of waiting, and knowing that a dream would one day become alive inside of me – a dream way beyond myself, a dream belonging to another place, a different realm that continues to knead me. For this dream seems to exist despite me. Despite everything that stands in the way, despite what could keep me hemmed in, it presses me still.

I marvel at this dream, planted in such frail and uncertain humanity. I am learning that the making sense of a life comes not from the searching out of purpose, but rather lies in the simple act of obedience – hard obedience. My mind is limited to what I know, see and feel, the questions are many! Yet, I am sure of its purpose, aware of its origins and draw steadfastly upon a grace and mercy beyond all earthly comprehension. I learnt to trust so very long ago, and it is this thought that completely ruptures my arguments now. When life hit me square in the face and crumbled around me, scattered in heartbreaking directions, I watched the pieces carefully picked up and lovingly rearranged, still purposed, still planned. I marvel at how good can come from pain and suffering, for it surely does. It defies logic when I think about it, but that is the point I think! “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:9.

I realise that the journey has bought me to this place, my surrender, for my mamas heart beats wildly. My misgivings are many, my uncertainties real. But, how can I turn away?, How can I close my eyes when they have been opened to this truth? I cannot. I know there is more, because my heart will not be still. Letting go is not easy, but I am learning that trust is a spirited journey. My trust in the one who holds it all in his hands is sure. I trust in the one who saw fit to tie this thread around my heart, and continues to weave a design I have yet to see. Africa, I hear you. I am ready. It won’t be long now.